It is the eve of
Passover, the holiday that for us Jews commemorates freedom to its
utmost. In our case, it was God's love for us that freed us from
bondage. No, we did not deserve it, we were actually a pretty
"unpure" and "unholy" crowd at the time, but He did it anyway. Much
of our story is that freedom from bondage in Egypt, the wandering
for 40+ years, and then an ascent into the holy land.
In many
ways this parallels a recovery journey. Like many other compulsive
overeaters, I was led to OA not because I deserved it but because
God loved me and wanted me to get better. I was a fairly rotten
human being and I needed lots of time (aka wandering through the
steps) to heal, grow, and recover. As for the promised land, well,
I'll peek at it periodically vis-à-vis. The peace and serenity I
experience periodically when the insides quiet down and the chatter
arrests.
Many Jews today ask how this story is relevant in
their lives - why in the world did the dumb Jews have to wander all
those years when there is MapQuest. We certainly would not be lost
now. We're too smart for that. The answer surprised me when I
learned it. They wandered not because God did not want to show them
the easy, direct, less than 6 month's path to the Holy Land, but
because it was necessary to go through at least 2 generations to
extinguish their slave mentality. They could not really enter with
all their minds and hearts into God's land until they were
spiritually free, which by the way, takes much longer than physical
freedom. And for me as a compulsive overeater, this is highly
relatable material. I lost weight fairly quickly, even after the
relapse I lost most of what I had regained, but the head work, that
has taken much, much longer. Its actually an ongoing lifetime
endeavor. Compulsive eating is really spiritual bondage with
serious physical side effects. It took me a while to get that, but
once I did, I understood that no diet could cure me. I needed the OA
program.
And so tonight I begin to reexperience freedom in a
deeper, more relevant way. Not just freedom from physical shackles,
but more importantly from the spiritual and emotional ones. Jewish
holidays often serve as a contrast to the binding in our physical
world. We do not have to be bound to schedules, other's deadlines,
traffic, etc. And when we loosen those chains, we often find, as I
have, the room for spiritual renewal and rejuvenation.
This
message is as relevant now as it was over 2000 years ago. May God
bless me and my family, friends, and all people with release from
what ever binds us and may He guide us toward spiritual freedom.
Amen.
Happy Passover!
Natalie